Today's Prescription: Love and Limbo by Ciapha Dennis


I remember playing the game limbo as a child: two people stand on opposite ends of a bar (or stick of some sort) while holding it several feet from the ground. Participants take turns bending backwards to walk underneath the pole without touching it.

The bar starts high. Every time you successfully pass underneath, it’s lowered – sometimes until it’s only inches off the ground (I’ve never been that flexible).
The task to painstakingly bar-crawl underneath becomes more difficult and inconvenient every time it’s lowered. It becomes more challenging to bend-over-backwards and pass underneath.
Looking for love can leave you in limbo – if you let it.
I think we all have standards when we pursue an intimate relationship (or at least we should). When looking for a girlfriend (or boyfriend), we look for certain traits or characteristics that we find important. Your standards may be to find someone who is kind, caring and compassionate. Another standard may be an individual who likes sports. Maybe you desire someone with a job (duh) or you want someone who shares your faith.
Or, maybe, you just want someone who can cook and clean and doesn’t smell like onion rings.
Whatever these standards are, we all have them (even if they are trivial).
Unfortunately, at times, we are willing to lower our ethics for the sake of a relationship. We compromise our values to find someone who likes us.
I identify in that category. In search for a companion, I’ve been willing to ignore my values – including my faith.


As a Christian, the principals taught by Jesus Christ are important to me: love people, refrain from judgment, give to the poor, care for the less fortunate, pray.


Often times, we find that our generation is more concerned with identifying with Christianity instead of actually living out Christ’s teachings. We are more obsessed with social media posts that quote Scripture than living Scripture.
In the world of dating, I found that many women enjoy professing that they love the Lord. Some even enjoy going to church. But finding a woman whose actions align with Christian values can be challenging.
Of course, there’s the thing with me being a preacher. That scared some women away too, I’m sure. But that’s beside the point.
I felt that as a Christian man, I might have to compromise if I wanted to date. Finding woman serious enough about her faith, a woman who actually “practices what she preaches,” might actually be impossible. And I should “relax on all the God stuff,” as it were.
I’m happy that plan faltered and per usual, God intervened. Through mutual friends, I met a woman who does more than talk about Jesus or attends church on Sundays. She goes beyond simply quoting Bible passages under Instagram photos.
Every day, I witness Zaria’s selflessness, humility and kindness – all traits that Christ implores us to display. I see it in the way she treats her family and friends. I see it through her creative passion in blogging and fashion.
I’m ashamed to admit I’m quite the chief of sinners. I’m far from perfect.
I’m guilty of claiming to know God and living a life that contradicts his instructions.
Love is not about being “religious.” Finding companionship is not about finding someone who puts on a “holier than thou” front. We will never find the perfect person. Human beings are perfect beings.
But we should not have to lower our standards in order to find someone who makes us happy. I’m glad I did not have to play limbo to find love.
Thank you, Zaria.



 

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